Drumroll please....

  

It's been a long road to get to where I'm at now.  And the reason I waited so long to share the news is because I really wanted to make sure this one was for real! For some of you, you may already know that I found out I was pregnant last November but at my 11 week check-up, there wasn't a heartbeat and by measurements, it looked like the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks.  I had what is called a 'missed miscarriage'.  I chose to have a D&C procedure to take care of the pregnancy. It was a devastating ordeal, and it shook me emotionally.  It also made/makes this current pregnancy all the more frightening/nerve-wracking/scary.  It's been a slow, day-by-day process ticking the days off and hoping every day that things keep progressing and that things go smoothly.   

Due to my previous miscarriage, I asked my OB if I could do earlier testing/monitoring to give myself some piece of mind.  So I had two early blood-draws at 5 weeks and almost 6 weeks to check my Hcg levels.  That is the pregnancy hormone that is detected in a urine home pregnancy test as well as a blood test and if the pregnancy is progressing as it should, the Hcg number should double in 72 hours.  Thankfully, mine did.  

I also had a very early ultrasound at 6 weeks to make sure that something was growing in my uterus.  Since it still was so early, there was just a gestational sac but no embryo present yet.  I had another ultrasound at 7 weeks and saw a tiny bean and a very tiny flutter of a heartbeat!  It was SUCH a relief to see.  However, still didn't completely de-frazzle me considering with the previous pregnancy, the miscarriage occurred at 8 weeks.  Even though I'm currently 15 weeks along now, its still been the most worrisome thing I've ever experienced.  It's been so hard to think positive that everything is okay.  It's especially difficult since it's too early to feel any fetal movement and no way for me to constantly monitor baby's heartbeat to make sure he or she is okay in there!  Even after hearing the heartbeat again at my OB appointment at 11 weeks, and seeing a very active baby on my genetic screening ultrasound at 12 weeks, I still am very cautious and aware that I'm not out of the woods until I'm holding this baby in my arms!

For any of you that have also experience a miscarriage, it can be such a devastating and emotional roller coaster.  I think one of the biggest helps for me was knowing how common it is, my OB said that 1 in 5 women will have the exact same thing happen.  I had heard from many people that had experienced the same thing or people who knew someone else who had.  And also knowing that it happened for a reason.  Which is why I wanted to share my experience on here, to give comfort to others. Most miscarriages occur because something didn't develop correctly as the baby was forming all the major organs and parts and the baby would not survive if it continued to grow.  So for me, knowing that that baby wasn't meant to be and that it wasn't something that I did or didn't do gave me some closure.   

So back to the good news...After my miscarriage, we waited a few months to try again, mainly because we weren't keen on having a November or December due date (with my cycle, my due date would be right on Thanksgiving or  Christmas and since Joe has experience having a holiday birthday- Oct 31, decided not to go for it at those times).  By June, I wasn't at all convinced I was pregnant, nor did I feel pregnant at all and was just going to wait until my period was late prior to taking any at home pregnancy tests.  I was out to lunch with some friends and they were asking about it and it got me curious so I took a test the next day and it was positive!  I was pretty shocked; I didn't feel like it would be at all. But don't get me wrong, I was very ecstatic!!!

So far my symptoms have been manageable.  The worst has been the nausea.  No actual sickness and vomiting but nausea especially when I have an empty stomach.  I even have woken up in the middle of the night with it.  Keeping my tummy full tends to help, but that leads to my other problem, irregularity issues.  Any pregnant woman will know what I'm talking about.  But I have found and love Metamucil and it has been helping.  Otherwise, some lower back pain and extreme fatigue are my only other complaints, and some headaches which I remember from when I was pregnant with Dylan. 

As for sharing the news, we tried to keep it a secret for as long as possible.  Especially after losing the last one, it felt like to tell people would jinx this one.  Joe was more concerned about it than I was.  I told some close friends almost right away and Dylan actually spilled the beans to my Mom and family when we were camping!  He was at the park with my Mom and told her he had a secret that Mommy had a baby in her tummy but that he wasn't supposed to tell!  It was okay, I had asked him if he wanted to tell her earlier, but he told me, "No, you said it was a secret and I couldn't tell anyone!"  It was hard to totally keep it under wraps when people knew we were trying so any notice of me turning down an alcoholic beverage warranted some suspicion. So some keen observers picked up on it earlier too. I also avoided taking any belly pictures until I was in my 2nd trimester.  I had taken a picture at 10 weeks prior to the miscarriage and didn't want to risk jinxing this one by doing the same.  So no record of what I looked like during the early weeks but I really didn't start showing up until recently anyway.

Important events up until now:

June 22 (4 weeks 3 days) - Took home PG test, POSITIVE!

June 25 (4 weeks 6 days) - First Hcg blood draw- 3,065

June 28 (5 weeks 2 days) - Second Hcg blood draw- 8,846

July 2 (5 weeks 6 days) - Over-the-phone medical history consult and information appointment, First ultrasound

July 13 (7 weeks 3 days) - Second ultrasound, heartbeat 117 bpm

August 8 (11 weeks 1 day) - First Prenatal appointment, heartbeat 150-160 bpm

August 15 (12 weeks 1 day) - Integrated Genetic Screening Ultrasound and Blood draw, heartbeat 149 bpm

September 5 (15 weeks 1 day) - Second Prenatal appointment, heartbeat 150 bpm

Here’s a brief update on the first weeks

Pregnancy week: 1-12 weeks re-cap

Baby Size/Fruit comparison: From smaller than a poppy seed, to a blueberry, grape, fig, etc.

Mommy’s weight gain: Gained a pound by week 10 and 2 by week 12

What I’m wearing: My normal, pre-pregnancy clothes. Though on/off when my digestive issues were bad and bloating was creating a large, distended belly, I would opt for a maxi skirt or my looser pants.  I’ve been wearing only loose tees/tanks.

What I’m eating…or not:  So far, I’ve been into sweets, particularly baked goods, candy, sweet drinks (Diet Snapple Peach Tea and Crystal Light, fountain pop), fruit is also a constant craving and desserts but Mexican fare also always sounds good. I’ve been turned off by hamburger, not necessarily a prepared burger, but the thought of ground beef and the act of cooking it, blech. Chicken is my protein of choice for now, or salmon. I also had the desire to buy a large jar of bread and butter pickle chips that I’ll grab regularly and snack on.

The Good: Not getting extreme morning sickness, getting pregnant again after the miscarriage, being able to get early ultrasounds, cleavage J

The Bad: Worrying, stressing that the baby was okay, nausea, indigestion, back pain, fatigue, irritability/mood swings, extreme sense of smell, acne, cold sores (would maybe get one every other year prior to this, have had two already during this pregnancy and one with the miscarriage pregnancy)

The First Born: It has been really hard to explain the situation to a 3-year-old. He knew about the other pregnancy and he had some questions as to where the baby went after the miscarriage.  It was difficult to explain to him why I no longer had a baby in my tummy.  Prior to getting pregnant again, he’d ask me where my baby went or why the ‘people’ took it out.  It would almost bring me to tears every time but I tried to remain positive and not scare him or tell him things that were beyond his grasp.  This time around, I wasn’t planning to let him know I was pregnant again but when I took that test and it was positive, I started crying and he was really concerned and I had to tell him I was crying because I was happy and why.  I explained that it would need to be a secret and he was very good about not telling anyone.  Well, except for my Mom when we were camping.  We talk about it more now that I’m further along and he knows he’s going to have a baby brother or sister.  

Little bean at 7 weeks 3 days.  Not much to see but could
see the flicker of the hearbeat! 

12 weeks

Looks like he/she is trying to suck their thumb